Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
