So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
