It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
