I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
