she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i now understand why vodka
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
