Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
