You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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