i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
