Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
