Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
