Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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