Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
