My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
