I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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