I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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