so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
