I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so let's talk penis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
