we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
