the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this just has baby written all over it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My feet surprised me
Randomize
