He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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