Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
