But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
