My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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