I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is the high leading the old right now
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
