Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
