Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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