I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
