No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
