Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
