dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My life is pants optional.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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