It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
