We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
