why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
