Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
