My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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