A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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