I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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