He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
