Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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