She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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