she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
