i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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