My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
