So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
