Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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