come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
