So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
