i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
