Pappa wants mamma naked
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
