How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesnโt get them female rage will.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
