You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
