Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
