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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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